I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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