sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
