I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
