xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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