We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
birth control should be required to get into college
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
