well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize