no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The Olympian is in my bed
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
