Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry mcranford1170 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.

Fav 20 6619 1021
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.

Fav 35 4459 1994
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(763): View more from Minnesota

Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue

Fav 4 3827 1147
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.

Fav 10 10107 1297
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine

Fav 5 2044 975
share tweet
(517): View more from Michigan

I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet

Fav 1 2556 1026
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(514): View more from Quebec

We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...

Fav 11 3094 1116
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(320): View more from Minnesota

I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?

Fav 6 1067 509
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday

(586): View more from Michigan

Can I play this game?

Fav 0 52 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT