Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
