You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
