An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
