One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
