i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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