On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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