Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
