im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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