Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
