GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
