please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
