Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
