They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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