just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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