Pappa wants mamma naked
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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