He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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