What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize