Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
