How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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