How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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