Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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