fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
