he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
