DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
