i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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