you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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