Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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