the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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