K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize