i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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