I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
