I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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