good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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