Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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