some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She told me I should be a condom model.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
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