So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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