It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
