Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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