We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My breasts were aching with rage.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
