She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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