Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
