i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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