Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
