Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Randomize