I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
