pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
