Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
