is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize