I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
