dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
In America we eat man semen.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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