Got a toothbrush?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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