i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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