u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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