I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
