Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize