Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
