Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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