if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Every concussion has its silver lining
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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