The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
