South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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