I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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