Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
